Be there on choosing day
by T64t
Summary: Takes place 2 and 1/2 years after Allegiant's Epilogue. Tris is alive but deeply hurt in her mind and body. What if she'll never be the same again ? Will Tobias forgive her and be ready for a life together ? Lots of FOURTRIS fluff. Story is fully convergent with the books. First part of a trilogy. Rated T/light M.
1. Chapter 1 Tris

**_AUTHOR'S NOTE_**

**_I do not own any rights on Divergent series or any of its characters._**

**_This is a full fiction story on my own._**

**_I invented this plot as I was not satisfied by the way and motives of Tris's death even if I don't want a happy end any time._**

**_I also thought if this was not the end, Tris and Four could not get on just as before._**

**_Agree or not with the sacrifice part, it marks someone forever and I feel there must be consequences for what she did._**

**_I hope you'll forgive my style as I usually write in French and red the books in French too. Feel free to give me comments on any big mistake about that._**

**_Warning : As they are, All the characters in this book will act a adults, which might include intimacy scenes that I'll try to keep close from V. Roth's non explicit intentions._**

_**Hope you like it and PLEASE REVIEW  
**_

**1 Tris**

I woke up early this morning …5.15.

I've been waiting for this day for such a long time and the few last hours look like centuries. Matthew was supposed to take the plane at 8, but maybe They were delayed or something. I'm like a caged animal in my little apartment.

I've been hoping for this for 3 years. Since the day I realized I was not dead…despite my stupid last move. I know now that I should have waited for the others to come back, I should have trusted Tobias. I can't even figure out how I came to decide and erase those people memories: parents, children, friends… All that has stuck me to life during those years on my own, I took it from them. I had no right. There were other choices that I didn't see. I was not that clever after all, just an arrogant teenager playing war.

I have to change my mind or my eyes will be bright red again. I feel sorry for this, but I can't change it now. I did it; I must live with my remorse forever. And try to make it better from now. I have another chance and this one is probably the last.

It's 7. I must move on, or I won't be ready when they arrive. I look at the picture on the desk and it cheers me up a little bit, I'll make it. I take a long shower and get dressed. I take care to avoid any clothes that look like faction style. I go for a white shirt and light blue jeans – I try to avoid the navy blue that looks too much like the Erudite's. I hope she won't notice I had such a little sleep.

The bell rings, and my heart stops beating. I look through the peephole and see Christina's face, just behind Matthew.

"Get in!" I shout…and I step back at the same time.

When the door opens I turn to the window. I don't want her to be afraid…or notice the walking stick I try to hide behind my hip.

"Hi!" says Matthew with his usual grin. "Christina, I wanted you to meet my sister, Grace. She might remind you about someone else though…"

Christina looks startled, her mouth wide open.

"Tris, is that you?" she says "How on earth can you be alive?"

"Yes." I answer with a poor smile."

She's shaking when she says, pointing at Matthew "You've been alive for all this time and not letting anyone know but him?"

"Wait till you know all what happened. He's really been a friend for all those years."

I see a flash of anger in her eyes, and then she spots the huge scar on my neck, the walking stick in my hand and my hair that turned to white. I hate the scar, because when they look at it, I see pity in their eyes.

Within seconds she turns pale. No horror or pity in her eyes, she just looks like trying to understand what happened to change me this much. And then she hugs me just like before, without question or reproach in her so familiar open face.

"Know what? I'm so glad you're back" she says. "I missed you so much."

We both sit down on the sofa and Matthew prepares to leave for his conference.

"I'll leave you both to talk and pick you back after lunch Christina. The plane goes back at 3PM. See ya girls!"


	2. Chapter 2 Tris

**2\. Tris**

"OK" says Christina "Tell me now. What happened ? You know I'm not that patient. I want it all."

I go to the kitchen for some glasses with apple juice, and sit back in front of her.

I take a deep breath and start.

"I guess you know what happened in the lab with David already, so I won't go through this again.

When Matthew vaccinated you and Four in the mortuary because the death serum was still on my skin, he gave you a simulation serum instead. As Four was not aware of what it was, he couldn't fight the simulation. And from there, all you saw in the room was false."

"He had settled a simulation for you both, in order to make you believe the dead body on the table was mine. He knew that otherwise, Four would have searched me everywhere and that was not possible."

"When the alarm was given, Matthew understood what happened when he saw Cara as a prisoner. He went back to the lab to purge it from the death serum and took me out of it on a wheeled bench. He told me his skin peeled for a week after that encounter with the serum. I did not catch any of this as I was actually dying. But as a wiser man he is, Matthew had anticipated a flaw in our plan and knew where to find help. In fact, they kept me in that hospital for months."

"Matthew says I woke up after 5 days of coma and loads of surgery...as you can see. I think I was floating between two worlds until he found the words to get me out of this fog on the living side."

"What did he say ?" asks Christina.

"Something really worth it." I say. But this part is mine for now, and Christina is sensitive enough not to ask more. I missed her friendship so much...

"They took 3 bullets out of me. One burned my neck as you see, it's the one that nearly killed me. The second blew up my left hip and the last one got trough my left shoulder. See ?"

I open the shirt a little, where the bullet has taken out part of the middle bird.

I see something in Christina's eyes that looks like pity, or worse, tears… I don't want it, I don't want them!

"It's okay" I say. "They nearly fixed it all."

"Then what happened to your hair ?" asks Christina

"It's a side effect of the death serum. It's permanent, and no way I can dye my hair either: it goes off the next day. Tell me I look like an adult! I didn't have all the peeling side effect like Matthew though!"

"After that, they had to replace most of my left hip that was blown by one of the bullets. I earned 6 months in a wheelchair for this, and the nicest walking stick at the moment. In fact, if the last prosthesis they made fits well, I might drop the stick in a few months."

"You might think this I why I didn't get in touch for all this time but don't, I'm no more Abnegation but I'm not that selfish. In fact Matthew knew that if the government knew I was still alive, I would be arrested and have to pay for what I did. I was not afraid of that but the trial was sure to be unfair as they just saw me like a very young dangerous terrorist who tried to destroy their established order. That's how I ended up with being Matthew's sister, found back in the wreckage, it was the only safe cover to explain all he has done for me, especially trying to get me fixed by a dozen different surgeons."

"Why letting it out today then ?" asks Christina.

"Matthew thinks it's getting safer now that he managed to explain what really happened. He says I could avoid trial, and more of that, I want to come back where I belong, I have things to do." I pause. " Do you think he still loves me ?"

"He suffered more than any of us I'd say" answers Christina. "and I think he actually managed to pass on a little. With his new job, he feels useful to people. But sometimes I feel the hole you left is still here wide open."

"That's why I wanted to see you first," I say. "I want you to give him this note, and tell him what I told you today. Hopefully he'll agree to see me and talk." I give her a small note in a grey envelope trembling.

"I will." She says.

After that, we have lunch together and Christina tells me about their new lives. She explains the factions have been partly restored but only on a volunteering basis. She seems happy with her job and she still sees Zeke and Shauna a lot...as well as Four of course. I feel strange they became close friends. it's like he stole my place.

Cara got a little out of the group, she's working a lot and always have a new experiment going on. I don't need to know more than I do about Caleb.

When it's time for her to go, I feel just like I'm back with her, returning from a long journey. Before the door closes I say "Tell him for my hair but not for the rest of the mess. Please."

"Trust me." She says.


	3. Chapter 3 Tobias

**3\. Tobias**

I haven't seen Christina for months. It's strange that she insisted to invite me in such a hurry. We usually meet with Zeke and Shauna who live opposite door from her, and sometimes Cara when her job is not taking all her time. I think she's planned to fix everything in this town, no matter what it takes.

Christina's flat is high in the Hancock tower 85th floor, too high for me guys. Besides, this place is full of former faction members, especially Dauntless; Amar and George got 89th floor. I suppose Dauntless are the people most likely to appreciate heights.

I usually avoid meeting them here, because this place is too meaningful for me. Every time I walk into the hall and the lift I think of her and how she had loved to fly all over the city from the top of this tower. Sometimes, I see her ashes flying behind me and tears fill up my eyes. I usually manage to make them dry until the lift reaches to the top.

I like Christina's place though, as long as I don't open any of her windows and look down. She chose plain simple furniture in black and white Candor style. I guess like a lot of us, Christina regrets some aspects of the original factions. Even if she still has a real family (not the twisted style like mine), she misses the reassuring organization they provided. The new faction system is more like a school than a home, as it was before.

There was a kind of unawareness in the faction system a constant "being taken care of" that was comfortable. Now, we have to live and think on our own. Not all of us were ready.

I pause in front of the door; something uncomfortable has grown in my stomach. Don't know why, this looks strange to me. Maybe it's because she insisted to see me as soon as possible when she called me last night.

I ring and Christina opens the door. She looks tired, like she didn't sleep last night. My stomach clenches more.

"Hi Four, get in" she says. She closes the door carefully and locks it after me. I feel even more uncomfortable as I have never seen her do that since the war is over. "I'm happy you made it."

She tries a grin to me but it's not convincing and I ask "What's wrong Christina? Why did you ask me to come? Do you have a problem?"

"Please sit down" she says, pointing to the couch. "I have to talk with you about something very important". I sit, silent, and wait.

"Okay." She takes a deep breath and "I went to Indianapolis yesterday with Matthew. He insisted on my coming with him because he wanted me to meet a friend of his that needed my help. He said I was the only one he trusted in this, so I took a day off and went with him." She notices that I wipe my hands on my thigh every 2 seconds and I suppose my face also tells loads the ex candor she is.

"No need for details right now but it happens that the person I met yesterday is Grace Bennet. She's Matthew sister." I open wide eyes, wondering where this is going to.

"To be exact I should say that she's been Matthew's sister for 3 years but, .. but,.. It was Tris." She lowered her voice to a murmur on the last words, as if she feared someone would overhear her.

I'm not sure I understood right. I heard the words "It was Tris" but my brain does not translate it into something. I stay dumbstruck. Christina repeats a little louder "It was Tris. She's alive I'm sure of it."

I'm a stone but my heart beats wildly. She can't be…I saw her dead body, her hand was so cold…That's not true, I'll wake up in a minute. But nothing happens I'm still on Christina's couch feeling confused and panicked.

"Are you sure?" I say.

"Yes. She explained to me what happened, and I asked her a few things only she, would know. You know that I can read people when they lie. She gave me a letter for you."

I wonder what she's reading in my face and body right now. I need air, I need to breathe. I suddenly feel dizzy and my hand reaches for the small table next to me when Christina gives a small grey envelope to me. I pull myself back when I see it, as if such an ordinary object could bring me back to real world. Maybe I'll wake up now?

I look at it, and take it carefully from Christina's hands. My hand is trembling.

"I'll leave you to read this on your own." she says while she goes to the kitchen to get me a glass of water. I'll be reading in my bedroom, knock when you're ready.

I open the envelope carefully. I don't know what I fear most from that moment being real or not. I feel like this letter might evaporate if I go too fast. I read.

_IV_

_I'm sorry I could not tell you I'm still here. I must be careful._

_Christina will tell you how all this happened._

_I'll be able to join you soon, if you think you can forgive me for leaving you. I hope you will, when you know everything._

_Meet me at the place of our first date on Choosing day 8 AM._

_I have changed a lot but I love you always._

_VI_

_PS: Give your answer to Matthew._


	4. Chapter 4 Tobias

**4 Tobias**

I read the note twice, frowning. My hands are shaking and that doesn't help. My head is suddenly full of memories and I realize I don't really know her handwriting. I would have needed this to be sure it's really hers.

For the first time, I go the window that I usually avoid and open it. I take a deep breath and look at the city where we belong. My thoughts are running wild, my heart's racing. All the memories I've been trying to keep aside for 3 years, come back at the same time. I see her face with her wide blue eyes… her smile, I feel her hand in mine.

I remember the first time I got to touch her when she got out of the net…First jump! Pride fills me every time I think of it. I remember her strength that she didn't know of. I remember how she stood in front of my father twice, in my fear landscape and in real life all the same. I remember how worthy and plain I felt when she was there to believe in me.

I feel her touch on my skin and salt on her lips, I feel her arms on my back… she liked running her hands up my spine and on my chest. I feel her body next to mine when…

I shake my head. I must not run into this, it could be all wrong I could be dreaming or in a simulation…

I read again carefully, there are hints that tend to prove it's Tris: no one knew for our date but her. On the other hand, the Bureau could have deceived her and got a lot of private information from her with the appropriate serum, they have so many. What if they had tortured her? I can't bear this idea.

I don't see the point of letting her come back to me, neither a reason for sending me someone else in disguise. If things were the opposite way, I would do anything to come back to Tris. Okay let's believe for a minute. I must know how it happened.

I go back inside and knock lightly at Christina's bedroom door. She comes out and sits back on the couch in front of me. "What do you want to know? She says.

"Tell me everything you know" I respond.

And she explains to me, how Matthew deceived us about her death, while Tris went to hospital in a coma and, after waking up, was obliged to hide with Matthew's help because of what the government would do to her and all the people who helped her.

After she has finished her story, I stay silent for a while then ask "Do you know what are these important things she wants to do?"

"No, she wouldn't say, but I guess you must have some good place in it, otherwise she wouldn't have asked about you still loving her."

"What did you say about this?" I ask raising an eyebrow.

"I kinda say you always had a place for her in your heart. I'm I right?"

"Nice answer…accurate even if I don't really know what place is left in my heart at all. Did you actually see her writing this?" I ask, pointing at the folded note.

"No" says Christina. "The letter was already sealed when she gave it to me. Do you believe it could not be from her?"

"I don't know really." I say. "I so much want this to be true, that I fear this is a dream that will stop, or some kind of trap. You know, I've learned to always expect the worse from people."

Christina comes closer and puts her arm around my shoulders. "Why not answer her then? You've got nothing to lose. And if it's a dream, it looks like a nice one to me anyway." She pauses.

"And her hair has gone white now you know. The death serum kind of poisoned it. I suppose if this was a trap they would have tried to make her look exactly like the Tris we used to know. Believe me, when you'll meet her you'll know in your heart it's her…I did but you have to know by yourself."

I keep silent for a minute and take a deep breath. "Okay, I'll write back and see what comes next. Nothing to lose uh? Thank you for helping her and I into this anyway, whatever it is actually. You really are a precious friend Christina, Tris has always known and I believe she was so much right."

I can see a tear in the corner of her eye, when she answers "Get out of here now! I think you have someone to write to. Be careful to what you say if you want my word, you never know who could come across your mail."

I leave Christina's apartment more puzzled than ever. Good thing I don't have to work today. I don't want to see or speak to anyone before I'm done with what I have to do now, or better, what I absolutely want to do now.


	5. Chapter 5 Tris

**5\. Tris**

I don't know if anyone knows about a time shrinking device? Waiting for an answer from Tobias is agony. Not that my days are not busy: I've got this job to organize social welfare. At least this is something I learned to do from Abnegation, and I feel a little less guilty for all the horrors I have done when I try to help other people. I especially like when kids smile at me, when I manage to get colored paper to make planes or a box of painting to give them.

I learned that beauty helps living trough the difficult times when I was at the hospital. Matthew kept lending me any sort of books but I quite liked the painting books, especially some about people who called themselves "impressionists". They made big paintings with thousands of little dots of paint and when you look at them, those paintings sort of come to a peaceful and bright life. I now often envy the Amity, who still know how to do art, and I think how sad it is for other factions to have lost that. But maybe this has changed too. I tried once or twice to draw and I'm a disaster on this, believe me.

He also gave me a nice box that plays music. I don't really know how it is produced but I love it. I tried to sing along and at first time, I had a laugh about how strange it was for me to sing, it was like hearing someone else. I've grown better by now, and I sometimes practice when no one's around. I'm improving faster, but I had better motive to go on singing, so I guess I put more heart in it than graphic arts.

I wish we could trust mail or computer network to exchange with Matthew; that answer wouldn't take centuries to come.

I've been waiting one month (seemed one year to me) but here it is! I look carefully at it. He took the same grey envelope as I did. Maybe he understood my choice. This Abnegation color reminds me how similar we are, because we came from the same place and went through the same journey to find ourselves and each other.

"Let's go girl, open!" I still hesitate, turning the envelope in my fingers…what's in it, will either be redemption or destroy me forever. I breathe.

_VI_

_I can't believe it's true but I choose to._

_I don't know yet if I can forgive you but I really want to, and maybe I don't need to. You did what you thought best, even if foolish._

_That's why I love you anyway._

_I'll be there._

_I'll love every part of you, the old ones and the new ones._

_Love_,

_IV_


	6. Chapter 6 Tris

**6\. Tris**

I'm looking at the scene in the Millenium park, where he took me at night, that evening; ages ago for what I feel. It hasn't changed that much, except that today the park seems "alive", despite the early hour,-I came half an hour early just in case... I wouldn't climb up today though. I won't climb anything anymore in fact. I wonder what he'll say about that. And what if he didn't recognize me at all? My stomach clenches. I lost my muscles and I'm skinny again. But I think my face in the mirror pretty looks the same, even if I may look more serious and tired than before, right now.

And suddenly I hear his voice next to me "Good she told me your hair was all white, I could have looked for you desperately otherwise." He's trying to sound casual but that doesn't make it.

My heart stops beating. Itwas not supposed to be this way, he is early too. I had planned to wait for him standing up proud (as much as I can anyway), not seated on this stupid bench like a fifty-year-old, but I got lost in my thoughts too long, and didn't hear him come. I used to be better at watching, four years ago…

He sits down next to me but doesn't dare to touch me yet I notice. As If he read my mind, he adds

"I must be sure you know," he seems a little uncomfortable "I couldn't stand a deception, after…all I've been through;

I understand, I would feel the same. I start, trying to look right into his eyes "We met here for our first and only date, on a platform on top of the arch. You had brought some awful lemon beverage from the Erudites' kitchens. We kissed each other for the first time down in the chasm, on a little rock platform. You have the 5 factions emblems tattooed in your back and the 3 crows on my clavicle, means one for each member of my family." I see his beautiful blue eyes piercing me and trying to know If I lie or not. So I go on, words running through my lips as the ideas come to my mind.

"When I told you my parents were dead and my brother a traitor, you said you would be my family. I bit my cheek when I lie, and the last words I told you in the garden were I love you…"

I stop here and stay silent, I should have prepared this. I know I didn't speak about our last night, that would settle it for sure…but I need to wait before we talk about it. I absolutely need to delay this moment. I'm not ready yet.

He comes closer and takes my hand. I feel him fighting into something, fear? Tears? Doubts, more likely. He is like a scale about to turn one side but I don't know which one.

And then his eyes lighten and he whispers "Tris, I thought I had lost you forever and you're here."

He moves towards me like to hug me and I hold him back, trying not to tremble or cry.

"Not here. We can't hug here or even speak too long" I say "It's too risky. Maybe you'll think I'm paranoid but someone could've set a watch on me or you and we're not supposed to know each other yet. I understand you're someone in this city. We must go to a quieter place anyway."

"Have you been in Chicago for long? Where do you live?" He asks.

"One week I say."I stay at Amar and George's. It's a safe place: as they're cops, that's unlikely anyone will search at their place without warning, and it's close to Christina's. The problem is that it's full of Dauntless though my white hair makes wonders in making me look different. And no Dauntless would ever go with a walking stick." His eyes look down to the stick but he says nothing. "When this happens they were usually Factionless already. I'll sort something out for us to be alone next time. I'll get in touch with you tomorrow Okay?"

"Are you talking about leaving now?" he says looking desperate. "Please no, I have to talk to you… don't go. I beg you."

And then I get a glimpse of the harm I've done to him, and I can't stand it. I feel unable to go on hurting him. I won't do it again. I press his hand firmly and say "Okay. What do you suggest then? We can't stay here and there's someone at Amar and George's."

"Come to my apartment. It's only a few minutes' drive" He says suddenly serious.

"I don't think this would very safe. Your neighbors might wonder who I am, except if you went into the habit of having lots of girls at your place." I say with a teasing tone.

He ignores my remark and say "Don't worry. I'm thinking of something that could do it. Are you with me?"

I nod. I won't go over not trusting him again. I owe this to him, and it came at much too high a cost, last time I forgot that. "I'm listening to you, give me your orders." I say, smiling to him.

"First we'll leave from here separately. Count 10 minutes from now, and I'll pick you up at the exit and leave you two blocks ahead, then you'll walk back. Number 12, 6th floor, door 64."

I raise an eyebrow, "Is that a symbol?" He smiles, strokes my cheek and stands up to walk away.

Instantly, a fear grows in me, while I look at him leaving. What if something happened and we never see each other again. "I love you Tobias" I say a little too loud and it feels good to speak his name again.

"I love you too." He answers looking back at me. "See you in ten minutes."


	7. Chapter 7 Tobias

7\. Tobias

As I run to the car, I keep thinking about what just happened.

Christina was right, It's really her…It's her. I should feel relieved or happy I guess but I don't feel any of that, right know. Maybe it's because this didn't go the way I expected. Now I think about it, how could I expect that we would just go from where we left, being unchanged and unharmed.

That was stupid. Her face is still the same if thinner, but I noticed a big scar on her neck. And I suppose there's something wrong with her leg or knee that explains the walking stick. I'll ask about that later anyway, I felt that was not the right time.

I run to get the car on time. I don't want her to wait at the entrance, if it is as risky as she seems to think. I open the door and she gets in. I notice that her hip seems stiff. She smiles at me while we leave. I feel light and relieved, having her sitting next to me; no one can take her from me now.

I must say something, this silence is excruciating. Conversation is not what I do best though. "Tell me about your job." She says. "I understand you're an assistant to Johanna now." I feel relieved not to have to speak about us while I'm driving and I see she knows.

"I help her in her duties, checking her appointments; preparing speeches…I get to read a lot of things about how the world is and was, outside Chicago and I like it. But you know more than me about the world outside, don't you?"

"It's pretty much what you red. I guess; it's different from here, mostly because there are no remnants of the factions at all. I feel people are more desperate for a leading path, but they also have things we didn't even know. Do you have drawings and paintings? Do you listen to music? Have you ever tried to sing Tobias? That's beautiful when you practice a little."

"No. I suppose you'll have to teach me." I respond. She laughs.

Here we are. I drop her how we planned and explain to her, how to get to my building. I park the car and hurry back home running. I have only minutes to pull myself up and tidy up the mess a little. I close all the curtains in the unlikely event that someone could have a look inside my apartment.

The doorbell rings. Here we are. I open quickly to let her in and it's strange to have her enter my own private world I have built without her for such a long time. I lock the door just in case, and when I turn back to her, she looks so beautiful and vulnerable, that the feelings overpower me. I have to know for sure…

I just take her in my arms and start kissing her wildly. She seems surprised for a moment and lets go. This is what I needed to be sure…her body next to mine; her lips on mine. I feel her breath on my cheek and her heart racing.

"I had to…I've missed you so much." I whisper in a kiss on her neck.


	8. Chapter 8 Tris

**8\. Tris**

I'm not sure this is the right thing to do – a voice inside me tells me it isn't- but I feel the same urge of kissing him. It´s like some kind of wild animal that wants to break free. I feel his hunger as he grabs my wrists and pins me to the wall to kiss me. I respond and it feels sweet, and hurts as the same time.

Without controlling it, I free my hands and lower them around his waist and under his tee-shirt, as I've done so many times. I'm looking for the once familiar feeling of his tattooed back skin. I smell his scent again, he's here again. He is still so beautiful that it makes me afraid. He takes his hands down to my waist too, but my dress won't go as easily as my dauntless tee-shirts and jeans of old. He manages to unzip it at the back but I don't want it to go further like this.

I hold him a second and then I think I completely lose my mind, when he grabs me and lifts me in his arms like a freshly wedded bride and takes me to his bedroom.

We go on kissing deeply on his bed and he starts to take my dress off. I keep trembling when I think about the hole on my shoulder and the huge scars on my hip and belly. This strikes me that he might be afraid or disgusted, and I suddenly pull back ashamed and turn back from him, sitting on the edge of the bed, curled up on my lap.

"Hey what's wrong?" He asks " Did I scare you? I'm sorry I lost my self control for a minute. I don't want to be in your fear landscape again."

"No." I say in a croaked voice. "It's me. I want you too, but I'm afraid. I've changed, I'm broken…and…" I feel tears coming and all my strength melting away.

But all he does, is taking my hair on my shoulder, turning me gently back to him and kiss me in the neck, then on my shoulder. He kisses the crows as he liked to do, and I notice he takes care not to stare at the scars, but when he comes to my breast he can't help it. He looks puzzled but says nothing and goes on kissing me. He couldn't prove his love to me in a better way. "I think I like it when you need comfort from me you know. You've always been the toughest between us. Maybe now you could rely on me for a change." He says gently.

This time I can't help crying. I dive into his arms and then we melt in each other.

I'm lying between Tobias's arms. I really feel safe with him. It has never happened since we parted. It´s been different this time, more desire than tenderness but this seems to have let something out that was gluing us. And though, there was also pleasure in it. I had almost forgotten the feeling, with all the suffering I had to go through, after our last night…

"How did you do this?" he asks me, pointing at my breasts "I'm sure they're bigger". I'm startled. Of all that has changed in me, that's the first thing he's concerned at. I guess that's probably why men are men: we don't put our concerns in the same order of priority. I don't know what to say, if I want to answer him now, I better stand up and I guess he'll have too.

"If I tell you about that, it will completely change the course of this wonderful day. Is it really what you want?"

"Not yet then. I like it this way." He answers. And he gives me another kiss to seal it.

He is looking carefully at what's left of my old self and body, following the scars with his index. I feel uncomfortable because HE looks exactly as beautiful as ever. I know he recognizes the bullet wounds, he learned a lot from the Dauntless. He strokes my hip gently. "What happened?"

A bullet destroyed my hip. They had to replace it with prosthesis. This one is the third one, and I'm getting on well with it. I will walk normally very soon but you'll definitely keep the record of the best runner out of us forever now!" I say, smiling.

He laughs along and that makes me warm inside. I like seeing him happy. I feel less guilty for all I have done without thinking about hurting him or his feelings. "I'm sorry" I say suddenly. "I shouldn't have left you without thinking about us. I believe I can just think to one thing at once, I'm not an Erudite after all. And I suppose I'll definitely have to admit I can't save everybody."

He smiles "That's why I love you… because you're so selflessness when it comes to others. I wouldn't want you any different."

"And what is this new tattoo for?" He says, stroking the big blue bird on my right clavicle.

"It's you, a deep blue one like your eyes. Do you like it?"

"And the small one?"

"This one… I'll tell you later." I wait. Or maybe it's time after all? No. There's something I need to know before coming to this very point.

"How did you get on without me?" I ask suddenly.

"Same as you I guess." He says.

"No. I knew you were alive and YOU thought me dead. That sounds very different to me." I say, looking right into his eyes. "Tell me now, or I'll spend the rest of my life imagining how much I hurt you."

"Okay. That was pretty bad until last year. I was unable to think properly, I saw you everywhere, real hallucinations I speak of. I was afraid of sleeping because I kept dreaming of you and every morning, I would wake up crying from loosing you again." He pauses. "And it's as well that I tell you before Christina does: I planned on taking some memory serum to forget my life and the pain… and you. She stopped me though, and I'm really glad she did."

I take his head in my hands and take him to lie on my lap and I stroke his hair. My tears fall on his cheek but I don't care.

"Were you angry with me?" I ask with a feeble voice.

"I was not angry with you, not after a few days anyway. I was just sad and desperate for you. Then I started to work a lot and it helped. I had less time to think. I like feeling useful to others, you know, that's why I understand you."

"What changed after that?" I ask.

"I suppose I managed to keep you quiet I'd say; I could control my grief. I could still look at you or think about you, but it didn't hurt so much. I could remember the good things without crying. You became more an angel than a ghost."

This is too much I can't hear it anymore. I know I had the best motive to delay my coming back, but was it worth it? I must find something not to yell from pain. I close my eyes and start humming this tune I like. Matthew calls it a lullaby. It speaks about a twinkling little star and I know I can calm down with it.

He turns his head to look at me with wide eyes. "That's beautiful." He says. "When did you learn how to sing?"

"I used to go every week to a kid's centre for my work. I liked watching them draw, play or sing while I worked. One of the teachers became friend with me, and she taught me a few songs."

We stay like this for a long time.

A voice tells me I have to do it now.

"Tobias, I think we should get up. I have something else to tell you about and it's very important. I cannot speak of it lying on this bed." He looks worried "you frighten me" he says. "If it's some bad news I'd better wait a few days."

I don't know what to say so I answer "get up please" and I go to the bathroom to clear my thoughts. I dress up silently and go back to the living-room.

I must open the curtains, I need light for this.


	9. Chapter 9 tris

**9\. Tris**

"Let me get some drinks" he says, when he comes back. "Should I go for something strong?"

"I suppose so, but we shouldn't drink before we're finished talking then."

"While you wait, tell me how you got on without me then?" he asks as to release the tension in the air.

It's a start like another I think.

"I've never felt so lonely in my entire life. At first I would ask Matthew every day about when I could leave and see you again. After six months, I dropped it and went on day by day, hoping he would say that waiting was over. He managed to get a nice picture of you and I'm afraid I did a lot of talking to it. I tried to imagine what you would answer, if that book would have interested you and all sort of things. But you can't pretend too long like this, and I felt mostly cold and empty. I missed you every minute since we parted."

He comes back with glasses of some alcohol and sits on the couch next to me.

I go on, now the tap is open, I'd better empty it all.

"Recently I started to fear you'd build a new life with someone else. It could've been, I was dead. But there has been something else in my life all this time, that gave me strength…"

OK, that's the hardest part of it…I thought maybe I'd have more time to come to this but I must do it now…

"I have to tell you the best reason why I didn't come back earlier. I wanted everything to be safe because… this is worth more than my life or yours. Tobias, we have a child."

I see his whole body freeze, when he takes the blow, and the glass explodes in his hand. He gets up, staring at nothing, and goes straight to the balcony as in need of air, and kneels there, holding his head in his hands.

He is panicking. I decide to give him a moment on his own. It took me days to get used to the idea, and I only give him minutes to acknowledge such a huge thing. I have also been prepared to what being a father will get him back to, and I must help him through.

I grab a napkin in the kitchen and sit next to him to wipe the blood from his hand, and say "You don't need to be afraid. It's been the best thing in my life since I met you. If you come back in, we can speak about it."

He takes my hand and we sit back together on the couch. This time I take him in my arms, he's trembling. I wait until he calms down a little and start.

"When I was in the coma after David shot me, I was like in between two worlds. I kept hearing voices telling me to let go, that I could rest now, and there was Matthew, who came to me every day, for hours. He spoke about you and Christina and he said some people still needed me to stay on this side of life. All this was like a dream for me until he spoke about the baby. He kept telling me I had to live for this child, that he would need both his parents. And that woke me up, after all."

"I was worried about the death serum effects, but she was born perfect. And since you must not know a lot about pregnancy, that's how my breasts got a little bigger." But that doesn't make him smile. "She has got your very eyes and my mom's hair. She's nearly 3 now. The little blue bird's for her."

"It's a girl?" asks he, with an immense effort and some astonishment.

"Yes. Her name is Natalie. She speaks quite well, reads those child books called fairytales and loves that twinkle-star lullaby I sang to you."

"That's better. It would've been harder with a boy" He says with a relief.

I know his mind and I can't let him take this path. "Tobias, you're not your father. I know you; you'll do very well… If you feel ready to, of course. But believe me, you don't need that much coaching to love a child."

"Does she know I'm her father?" he says. "Of course she knows", I respond "We talk a lot about you. She believes you're the bravest man in the world, like I do, and she would like you back, to fight the monsters creeping under her bed at night. Don't know why she won't trust me in that. I guess she understood we came back here to see you, she's very clever."

"May I…may I see her some time? Where is she now?" He says.

"She is at Amar and George's with Christina at the moment. I'll take you to her, whenever you're ready. Today if you want to."

"I think you were right, I'll be needing that drink." He says.


	10. Chapter 10 Tobias

**10\. Tobias**

I close my eyes and open them again slowly, many times. I want to be sure this whole day is not a dream; but no. Tris is still here, waiting for me to pull myself up. She goes "I think I should give you some time to think about all this, maybe we can meet again tomorrow, I'm not sure to be very helpful right now. What we didn't have time to discuss yet can wait a little longer, without any harm I guess." and after a pause "I also have a lot of thinking to do myself."

I'm so completely lost, that I can't imagine her going now. She's the only thing that hasn't been turned completely upside down today-even if rocked a good deal though, the only part of my life that will still seem a little familiar to me from now on. She's the only path I can follow from here I am. "Please stay a little more." I say.

"You know what? I'll cook something for lunch." she says while opening the fridge. God! Don't you ever eat Four?"… Better say I'll do some shopping first." she adds, after scanning the empty trays." You can be on your own, while I cook and I won't be far if you need to talk."

"I didn't know you knew how to cook." I say teasing. She comes to me and plants a kiss on my cheek and say "Wait until you've tasted it, before you call it cooking. Be a good boy while I'm gone, OK? "

I nod. Jeez! I love her.

While she's gone I try to think about raising a child from my own experience but that proves quite difficult. All that comes to my mind right now, is about my father hitting me or my mother crying. I can't remember anything of the ordinary life that I did with them both. That frightens me. If I don't remember, how on earth can I do it?

What does it mean to raise a child anyway? Maybe it's a bit like teaching initiates? But what about some initiate who don't speak properly and need help to get dressed and cut their meat… I can't figure out trying to anticipate someone's needs all day long. Makes me dizzy just to think about it. My stomach clenches. I regret that I didn't pay attention to the other families back at Abnegation when I was there. But I was too much concerned, about making myself invisible from others and hiding from my father. And everyone knows, babies are a girl's concern anyway!

What am I to do? Before today I had pictured that we could move in together with Tris, to begin with. We could have longed here for a while, just to know how we got on without people to fight. After a few months, I might have considered proposing her. It did well on Zeke and Shauna to get married.

Zeke had started going wild for a few months, drinking too much, driving too fast, taking useless risks. One day Shauna called on me in panic, the day he decided to walk on a rope above the Dauntless quarter's chasm after a drinking party. I guess he couldn't cope with Uriah's death sometimes. Everyone has its own way to deal with grief. I bet she's the one who proposed, but now he swore to protect her "_until death do us part_", he seemed to have stopped all his self destruction attempts to move on.

Now I really don't know what to do. Dammit! What if I didn't make it with that baby girl? Do you still call them babies at 3 anyway? I try to picture myself giving her a bath or reading her a story, but that seems so very odd to me.

Tris comes back and rummages around my kitchen for a while. I watch her cutting vegetables and beating eggs and looking for…a saucepan I think. I don't care, I usually get my meals at the city hall in the dining hall. When I'm at home, I buy cans of food.

I realize that I look forward to having more moments like this one. Is it normal life? Her omelet with fried vegetables, tastes very good. I say "That's nice, Tris. Did you learn this from your mother?"

"Not this one, but I guess you'll have a chance to try something later" She says while tidying up the table. "What shall we do next? I cook but I leave the washing up to you."

She slips behind me and starts kissing my neck. Minutes later we're on my bed again kissing.

"Maybe…we should take precautions ? I don't think the idea of having another baby is likely to turn me on." I try to stand casual in saying this. She stops and says in a low voice "There's nothing to fear about that." I expect another bad news and I stiffen "I'm sorry Tobias but in the actual state of my health, there's no chance I can have another child, there's been some damage during surgery. We only have Natalie now."

I know I can't understand what that means to her,… all I can do is pull her close to me and kiss her.


	11. Chapter 11 Tris

11\. Tris

He kisses me very sweet and I feel like a relief. All the weigh and apprehension are gone. This time we made love slowly, tenderly without this painful urge I felt before and I know I don't want to leave him again. Never.

We stay here for a long time, my head on his chest and him stroking my hair. We keep silent, just savoring these blissful moments. I try "Would you like to see Natalie today?"

"Don't you think she will be afraid of me?" He says worried. "No, I don't think so, she's not afraid of strangers if there's someone she trusts with her. I can call Christina to tell her you're coming. Are you ready or would you need more time?"

"Dauntless learn to confront their fears, maybe this won't be so terrible. Do you think I can handle a 3-year old girl?" he asks with a grin. "She's a tough one but you stand a chance." I answer laughing. "Let's go then?"

"OK." He says, trying to sound cool, but I know he's terrified.

"How do I look he says?" He wears jeans and a simple tee-shirt that shows his muscles. "Looks good to me, even if I think that maybe… without the tee-shirt…"

"Hey stop it!" He says laughing. Managed to make him smile for a minute…

"We have to go separately" I explain. "You take your car and I take the train. No one must know we saw each other today, and you have to remember that outside of these walls my name's Grace Bennet."

"You mean that I'll meet her without you being around?" He says, definitely looking petrified.

"That's the best way to know how she feels about you. That's the day to be dauntless my love." I say, stroking his cheek. "I'm sure everything's gonna be fine. Just let it happen."

I kiss him. "Give me five minutes before you leave. I'll call Christina on my way."


	12. Chapter 12 Tobias

12\. Tobias

I'm first. As Tris expected.

I stand in front of the door of Amar and George's apartment not daring to ring. If I stay here any longer, someone will notice and we will all have big problems. I pull myself and press the button. Christina opens the door and lets me in. "Someone's here to see you Natalie." She says. "It's Tobias."

The little girl is sitting near the sofa playing with a cube game. She has light brown curly hair and…tears fill up my eyes. I must handle this right know, I don't want her to see me crying at first sight.

She turns back to me and stands up. She's so small. She looks at me with a very serious look for a minute.

"Hi Natalie" I say with a small voice. Saying her name feels nice to me.

She turns to "Christina and says, "Give me photo, Tina." While pointing at the guest rooms door. Christina doesn't seem to understand and Natalie takes her hand to lead her into the room. They come back with Natalie clutching a picture.

"Is that you ?" she says, pointing at the image. It's an old picture from my arrival in the dauntless. I think I look stern and a bit cruel, but maybe Tris would call that strong and beautiful.

"Yes" I say in a croaked tensed voice.

I try not to cry but tears are here again.

"Then you're my dad?" she says with a little smile. This is more than I can bear. I kneel on the floor, more because I fear I'm going to fall than to be at her height.

I nod and she smiles at me. It feels strange to look into her eyes. Tris is right, they're just like mine. I instantly feel she's part of me.

When she comes to me and gives me a hug, there's nothing I can do to stop crying.

When Tris arrives, we're doing quite well with Natalie. We are building the biggest pile of cubes ever.

She gets in and thanks Christina for watching over Natalie, and we're on our own. Natalie spots her mother, and runs to her laughing. "Mummy! She says jumping in Tris' arms. I wonder if she'll do this with me some day.

"Look mummy!' she says pointing at me," Dad here!"

"I know" says Tris, smiling at me and I can read a silent "I told you." on her lips too…

Suddenly, Natalie comes to Tris and pleads pulling her skirt "Can I give dad's book?"

"Uh. Well…" says Tris looking puzzled "Why not darling. You get It ?" Natalie nods and run again into the bedroom.

As she comes back she holds a little covered book in her hands. "For you. Present." Says Natalie giving me the book. We made this for you." says Tris. "Matthew helped us a lot too."

I take a look at the book. It's a collection of pictures of Tris and Natalie, from what seems to be her birth day until today. As I turn the last pages, papers slip out with Natalie's drawings on them.

Natalie comes to me and sits on my lap. "You want to show me?" I say. She nods. Sometimes she points at a picture and mumbles a word or two, I don't always catch…But I already know, a new feeling is growing inside me for this little girl, who looks at me with my very eyes.

This will never die even if we're not perfect, even If I do something wrong, even if I disappoint her sometimes…I know this love can never die.


	13. Chapter 13 Tobias

**13\. Tobias**

I don't know how to do this. I'm not even sure I want it sometimes, because I'm so frightened about it. I've been so lonely over the years that I fear I won't know how to behave in an ordinary life with someone. Besides, if I have considered living with Tris some day, I don't know how it is to raise a child because of my twisted childhood. Maybe having two people around me all day will get me mad enough to end up like my father.

I can't move them in this apartment, it's too small. I'll have to ask Christina about any opportunity around for something bigger. I guess it's a little bit too early for a house, but Natalie needs a room of her own.

It's time to leave. I've been thinking so much, I nearly forgot our day out. They finally managed to restore the lake completely a few weeks ago and we're taking Natalie on a boat trip today. I heard they also rebuilt the pier and Zeke swears they'll have a carousel this week end, as well as ice creams and balloons. I suppose this day out, could rise quite high in Natalie's best times list. Tris keeps telling me I don't have to prepare anything special every time we see each other but I always fear she will find me dull or boring. I know I'm not very good at this, and the truth is, I'm terrified that she would not spend time with me anymore. On the other side, I feel jealous of all the time they spend together without me. I've missed so much of their lives already.

I decide to park the car at bay, because I believe it might be over crowded. As I get there, I see I was right about it. I'm looking for Tris and I don't spot her at all. I decide to come closer from the boat ticket office and I'm stuck. They're here, looking at the two other boats that are already parading on the lake. Tris wears a light flowered dress and the small wind makes it float around her. Natalie wears the lilac dress we chose together last week. They're both smiling as she seems to explain something to Natalie.

I suddenly realize that we belong together; that we're whole as a family. I must speak about it before it's too late and I miss something important. I wave at them and Natalie runs to jump in my arms. I always wonder how light she is. She likes the way I make her fly around. Tris gives me a kiss on the cheek and proposes to go straight to the boats now as a pretty big queue is starting to form.

When the boat starts to move, we feel the wind around us and the feeling is so nice. It feels like freedom I'd say. I suppose it gives me courage enough to ask her. "Tris, I … I've been thinking that maybe we should consider living together, I mean, the three of us of course. Maybe you're not ready…and maybe I'm not either, but I thought we could give a try?" saying this I feel panic growing in my stomach, but I don't know which answer I fear most.

Tris moves closer and puts her hands around my neck to look at me. "I've been thinking about it too, because I'd love it but, I didn't want to rush you. If you're not ready it's OK with me you know."

"I want to be here for you and Natalie. How could I do that if we're always apart? I don't say that'll be perfect, I don't know what it is to have a normal family life, but…" she stops me with a kiss .

"Don't say that OK? There are plenty of things that you had never done and got excellent at. So stop being self-deprecating. I don't like when you do this, it's not you. You keep thinking you can't love people properly, but you're wrong. You can learn that as well as you learnt throwing knives, and it's so much more rewarding."

I smile and say "Throwing knives at you did not end up that bad, considering where we are now." She laughs and pulls apart as Natalie is about to fall into the stairs, trying to grab a lost balloon.

She comes back to me with Natalie in her arms and say "Let's do it then, let's try to live a normal life together." The three of us turn to the lake,… and our future.


	14. Chapter 14 Tobias

**Tobias: Family  
**

This is Natalie's first day at school. I don't recall anything from mine, so I guess I'm more scared than she is. Tris looks nervous too, or rather excited I should say.

I can't believe how much went on in just a few months. They both moved in only one month ago but I really wanted us to be all at home for Natalie's birthday.

I chose that day to propose to Tris, and she just said "Tobias, you remember the day you said you would be my family? …You are my family more than ever, you and Natalie are the light of my life and I want everyone to know. I say Yes!"

I clutch Tris's hand and we both cry a little when Natalie turns her back to get into the classroom, but I guess we have to be brave, we're Four and Six. And I reckon it's the first really important thing we make as a family. I know what to do from now on.

I know that I'll never hit any of them. I'm not my father.

I know for sure and nothing will stop me.

Tris comes closer and puts her head on my shoulder.

**END OF PART ONE**

_**Author's Note: If you're bored with this already feel free to stop and thanks anyway for getting this far. If some of you liked this story, you can jump straight to the next one in a more adventurous style (with family life pieces in it) : BROKEN**_

_**Guys, how long do you think, Tris and Four can live happily ?**_

_**Thank you for your support. I love your reviews and will take any idea for improvements of this story, knowing that my guideline is that it should be completely convergent with the existing books from V. Roth. If you see errors about this, please let me know where I did wrong.**_

_**I'll keep updating this story by filling the gaps about their family life and friends. **_


	15. Chapter 15: Tris

15\. Tris: Till death do us part

**August 2nd**

I look at the ring again… for the 50th time. I'm not a fashion victim but I must admit I love it… I'm like a little girl excited with a new game and I hide myself to look at the ring when Tobias does not look. At first I suspected Christina might have helped Tobias choosing this, but she didn't, she swore. I let my gaze linger again on the sparkling light of the diamond in the center; it's circled with four little light eating black diamonds. I just love it and I can't hide it. I take it off to play with a ray of light…on the inner side of the ring I can read a few words engraved "Tris &amp; Tobias always" I smile to myself.

I thought I didn't care about getting married as long as I could have Tobias and Natalie all for myself, but I do care. I feel it like both an achievement and a new step to something more important.

xxx

**Choosing day (10 months later)**

Choosing day again! This has already been the most important day in our lives until now, so I decided I could go on with it… sounds like destiny.

I look at my reflection in the mirror and I really like it. I like it more than I expected in fact. Christina really made wonders. She helped me choose the dress. It's slim, long and black, the skirt getting a little wider near my ankles. From the bottom of the skirt spreads a garland of grey and blue birds that alternate exactly like my tattoos: 3 grey ones then 2 blue ones… again 3 grey ones. It turns around the dress up to my waist. On my chest, there are 2 blue birds again leading to my shoulder where my tattoo shows, with the scar in the middle. I wanted to hide it, but Christina refused. She says that's what I am. The birds are her idea too.

Matthew gave me a large and short necklace, where I can fix a flower on the side, he said I should wear it today and he brought a blue orchid called Coerulea Cattleyas he says. Once Christina was over with me, you wouldn't notice the scar in my neck anymore.

Last week, she offered me a net for my hair, covered with tiny black crystals it's just wonderful and delicate. Now my hair is neatly made into a complicated bun and the net on top of it takes the light and it does not look so white anymore. She's so good for those things.

xxx

Johanna accepted to marry us in the dauntless quarters. We did not decorate it because I wanted it very simple and intimate. I enter the room with Tobias, hand in hand because I feel so clumsy I needed to feel him next to me to keep strong. Christina and Zeke will be witnesses.

We install in front of her and all our friends are seated on the chairs the guys installed this morning. Johanna starts, her voice soft but clear:

"Tobias and Beatrice, today you are surrounded by your friends and family, all of whom have gathered here to witness your marriage and to share in the joy of this special occasion. Today, as you join yourselves in marriage, there is a vast and unknown future stretching out before you. The possibilities and potentials of your married life are great; and now falls upon your shoulders the task of choosing your values and making real your dreams. Through your commitment to each other, may you grow and nurture a love that makes both of you better people, a love that continues to give you great joy, and also a passion for living that provides you with energy and patience to face the responsibilities of life."

I feel very odd to hear my first name again, it looks like someone else to me. I understand how Tobias must have felt when I started to use his real name.

As planned with her, Johanna goes on with the ceremony "I think we will now take time to bring back to us the people we miss most today. Feel free to light a candle for each of them, and write their name on the tree."

This is something I really wanted to do. I felt very sad that I couldn't have all the people I would normally have wanted to be here with us without war… all of those deaths still haunt me. Be it my fault or not, I miss them the same. That's why I went to the tattoo parlor two weeks ago and I had a 5' black tree painted on a very big paper but all the leaves were left empty shapes drawn of different colors. I installed a wide bowl full of sand on the table next to it. There's also a little basket with candles. Each of the people around is invited to come around, light a candle for every person he or her misses most and write down their names on the leaves of the tree.

I chose the music that is about to start, it's called "Only Time" from a singer of before the war, called Enya. This song gives me hope, it just makes me think that maybe someday, I will forget all this pain and be able to think of them in peace. The song starts and I get up to light my candle. I decided to go first because I might be wasted by the end of this. Tobias will finish because he is not as emotional as I am. I try not to let me think about all the names written because I don't want to cry, but I'm torn between the want of them being here, and the pain I still feel inside about them.

_Who can say where the road goes, where the day flows? Only time_

I write Natalie and Andrew Prior

_And who can say if your love grows, as your heart chose? Only time_

Christina writes Will

_Who can say why your heart sighs, as your love flies? Only time_

Caleb writes Natalie and Andrew Prior

_And who can say why your heart cries, when your love lies? Only time_

Zeke writes Uriah and Marlene

_Who can say when the roads meet, that love might be in your heart?_

Matthew writes Eileen

_And who can say when the day sleeps, if the night keeps all your heart?_

Shauna writes Lynn

_Night keeps all your heart._

George writes Tori

_Who can say if your love grows, as your heart chose? only time_

Evelyn writes Edward

_And who can say where the road goes, where the day flows, only time_

Cara writes Will

_Who knows? Only time_

Tobias writes Uriah

_Who knows? Only time_

The bowl is now glowing at the side of the tree, the halo of light brightens the whole room too, just as if all their souls gathered here for a moment like a warming fire. Curiously I don't feel like crying anymore, I do feel warm inside, I feel their presence and love around me. I feel ready to move this step on. I make a sign to Johanna that we're ready for the vows. She stands up

"Beatrice and Tobias, You can now exchange you vows."

I try not to let my voice tremble when I start looking into his eyes "Tobias: You trusted me, you believed in me when I didn't. You saw things in me I never even suspected. I've not been honest with you in the past, but I know I can trust you with anything, including my life. This is what I'll do from now on, every day of my life with you. You're my roots and my wings, the very air I breathe. I love you now and forever. Forever is how long I want to be with you, on the path that lies before us."

I smile but I'm really shaken when I stop.

Tobias takes a deep breath and starts "Tris: You made me whole when I believed I was broken, you guided me like a song in an ocean of silence. You're my light in the dark, the string that ties me to life. I thought I had lost you once and I was empty. I know I can't live without you and I want to stay with you every day that will be given to me."

I'm on the edge of tears when Johanna asks our witnesses to come closer and Christina and Zeke get up and stand behind us. Then her clear voice says "Do you Tobias, take Beatrice, to be your partner in life and sharing your path; equal in love, a mirror for your true self, promising to honor and cherish, through good times and bad, until death do you part?"

He answers "I take you to be my wife, in equal love, as a mirror for my true self, as a partner on my path, to honor and to cherish, in sorrow and in joy, till death do us part."

"Do you Beatrice, take Tobias, to be your partner in life and sharing your path; equal in love, a mirror for your true self, promising to honor and cherish, through good times and bad, until death do you part?"

"I take you to be my husband, in equal love, as a mirror for my true self, as a partner on my path, to honor and to cherish, in sorrow and in joy, till death do us part."

Johanna asks Natalie to bring the rings. She was dressed up by Christina in a very nice black and white candor dress and Christina's mother made beautiful locks in her hair. She's very proud to carefully hold the cushion where our rings are attached. Mine is from white gold with 10 little diamonds around and today's date engraved inside, it's gorgeous. We chose a plain white gold ring for Tobias but the engraving says "Tris &amp; Tobias" along with the date.

We exchange the rings simply and Johanna adds "And now, by the power vested in me by the State of Illinois, I hereby pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."

I thought I'd be shy, to kiss in front of everybody but in fact I don't care. I'm just too happy. So I let myself go in his embrace and kiss him tenderly, no matter who's watching.


	16. Chapter 16: Time for us

**16\. Tris: Time for us**

**_A/N: Here's for you my faithful followers. I hesitated if I should rate the story M for this chapter. Finally, I think it's still T, but go away if you don't like fluff and lemons! When I give the details for a song in a chapter like 15 and the present one, it is to allow you read along with the song if you wish. That will give you the exact atmosphere I'm thinking about when I write._  
**

**Wedding day**

After the ceremony, I notice that a lot our friends are still a little moved by it. That's what I hoped for in fact, I really wanted something meaningful. Now it's time for dinner and party, I think hearts will lighten a little.

I chose the menu myself and I harassed the cook all morning to be sure he would make it right from my recipes. It's very simple but tasty and I hope, beautiful.

We have grilled fish with broccoli and carrots, a roasted turkey with mushrooms and sweet potatoes, and I managed to have a big chocolate cake as in dauntless. The cook made a wonderful icing on it and surprised me with little sugar bride and groom are installed on top of it. I found some drink called champagne to drink along with the cake. It's lovely. I suppose this day is really going to be perfect.

The dinner is definitely great, everything is good and the guests seem to appreciate it. I managed to stay as far as possible from Evelyn and I hardly spoke to Caleb, because I still feel pretty uncomfortable with him. Zeke and Caleb insisted on arranging something for the party's music. I specified that I wanted to be able to dance, but I hope it won't be too bad, as Zeke's choices for music can sound odd to other people: It's either very loud or terribly sad. I suppose part of what he's listening to reminds him of Uriah. I understand him.

I only chose the first song to open the party: it's a music I like, called "Bygone Days" from Eileen Ivers. It's a piano and violin waltz piece that you can dance on, because it's very slow. I listened to it very often, when I was alone in Indianapolis. I used to close my eyes and imagined my life would sound like this, if I could ever be reunited with Tobias. Matthew taught me how to dance it once my hip was healed, and Tobias made me the pleasure to learn just for today. He is really so sweet. I look into his eyes when he takes my hand to lead me in the centre. I know he's very uncomfortable, but I keep smiling at him because I feel like a princess from Natalie's fairytales… and maybe because of the champagne too. When we start turning, all I'm thinking about is how much I love him, I dive into his eyes and I forget everything else. I feel like in a magic bubble settled just around the two of us. I hold him closer and I silently mutter "You're doing fine, I love you." When the music slows down, I feel a little dizzy, and I notice that no one tried to join us dancing. I suppose they just looked at us waltzing together. I give him a little kiss before the song stops completely and the dream is over. Tobias sits back on a chair. He seems relieved that part is over. I sit down on his lap and kiss him again-I don't care what the others think, I feel happy enough for a century.

After that, I suppose Zeke and Caleb really tried to satisfy my demands, because everything is lively and everybody seems to dance rather happily.

xxx

We're finally home, just the two of us. Natalie will stay with Shauna and Zeke for the week-end. As we get to the doorstep, he lifts me up easily in his arms and I tie my arms around his neck. He steps in and says "Welcome home Mrs. Eaton." I smile at him and answer "I'll never get tired of that Mr. Eaton." He puts me down in our bedroom and I lift up on my toes to kiss him. I pull his jacket off and start to unbutton his shirt slowly, I want to feel every second of this moment that is just ours. I feel the desire growing inside me when he starts taking my dress off too.

The buttons on the top are tricky and Christina had a hard time, tying them one by one. I laugh a little, when I feel his hands tickle my back, when he struggles with them. My dress finally falls on the floor and I fold it on a chair to avoid spoiling it. I push him back so he has to sit on the edge of the bed, and I stand in front of him in the embroidered underwear I chose with Christina, his arms circle my waist instantly.

I like the way he stares at me, I feel beautiful, and when he starts kissing my belly and chest, I shiver down my spine with the trace of his kisses on my skin. I sit down on his lap and untie my hair that starts brushing his shoulders and back as my lips press against his. We roll on the bed together and he whispers in my ear between kisses "You are just so beautiful." I can just answer "I love you." And I go on undressing him, stroking his muscles and kissing him too.

I sense all his muscles tensed around my body and I feel a kind o reassuring security, like the bond we just tied, will keep us from harm and pain forever. At first we were so clumsy that I still felt kind of my old intimacy fear, mixing with the pleasure of the moment. Today I feel free from that. I'm proud and fearless and happy that he's mine and I'm his. I don't have this seventh fear anymore, I'm in control and I like that.

xxx

I open one eye, because think I hear some noise and when I turn my head, I find Tobias's place empty and cold, but it smells of hot chocolate in the kitchen. I remember sleeping a lot more that last night… I close my eyes again and smile at the thought. I really got rid of that fear.

I grab a sweater because I'm still naked, and I try a step out of the bedroom. I see a fully dressed Tobias in the kitchen, rummaging with bowls and probably toasts. I say blinking into the bright light "Wow, you're up already? What time is it?"

He smiles at me "It's 8:15 love. Sorry if I woke you up, but we have to get ready, because we're going somewhere. It's a surprise. Breakfast is ready if you want it. I walk behind him and give him a kiss in the neck, then I start eating with appetite. I'm really hungry.

While I get my shower, he starts packing our things up. I'm not allowed to see what's in the suitcase he says, because it might ruin the surprise. Then we go to the car but, before we start, he takes a blue scarf out of his pocket to blindfold me. I obey but I'm dying to know where we're heading to.

It takes us about one hour to get there and park, but he still doesn't take the scarf off until we've entered some crowded place. I try to think about where we could be, but I don't get the slightest idea. He asks me to sit on a bench for a few minutes while he goes to check something, then we walk for another 5 minutes, and he takes the scarf from my eyes at last. I immediately recognize what was the Bureau. I can't help feeling uncomfortable and I think he notices my half frightened look. "Don't worry." He says, "I think you'll like it. I wouldn't say that much for myself though, I might need your help at some point. Look where we're going..." he says leading me to a corridor. The corridor gives way to a big room with a huge windowed panel through which I recognize a plane. I can't believe he did this, taking me on a plane trip while he's so scared of heights. How come he always thinks about such wonderful ideas when I never do?

I jump in his arms "We're going to fly aren't we? It's a wonderful surprise, I love it! Thank you." I feel like a child and I see he is nearly laughing watching my excitement. I ask "Where are we flying to?" I try to find some indication in the room but I don't have time to wonder, because it seems we have to get into the plane now. The voice says we are going to a place called Richmond. I don't really know where it is, and Tobias wouldn't say because it might ruin the other half of the surprise. I make a note to study a little more about geography rather than history, in the next few months. When the time to take off approaches, I can see that he is growing very uncomfortable, I know his fear is coming back. I cup his face in my hands and kiss him hard. I whisper in his ear "Hey, it's gonna be fine. It's not as bad as climbing the Ferris wheel, I promise. You can crush my hand if you need to. I'm sure you'll like it... Natalie did."

_**A/N: Thanks to my wonderful readers and followers. I'm really proud you find this story interesting enough to follow :-****))) If you want to know where he's taking her, watch for next chapter in a few days. I'm already working on it. Thanks a lot for all of those who took, and will take a few minutes to review about this story or give me advice on how to improve it. I plan to go on with this, until I fill the time gap between this and the next story.**_


	17. Chapter 17 Tris: Place for us

**17 . Tris: Place for us**

The crew gives us instructions for the take off and here we are, the plane's speed increases. Tobias actually crushes my hand for a minute, but I think he does not find it so scary after all, because he releases the pressure after the plane left the ground.

I'm stuck to the window because I'm dying to look at the world from above again. It's beautiful because there are no clouds at all and I can see everything. Tobias left me that place because he's not fond of the view I guess. "You should try and have a look I say. I don't think you would be afraid."

I sped some time looking outside because the weather is clear and I can see all the landscape passing under my eyes like a colorful map. Tobias does not want to look at it, and I believe it is just because he is afraid to exchange seats while we're flying. I'm afraid I finally fell asleep at some point, because Tobias wakes me up shortly before the landing.

After we get out of the airport, a car arrives to pick us up and we take a pretty big motorway. I look around but most of the places we pass around are empty and destroyed. I wonder more and more what could be at the end of this road when Tobias takes the scarf out of his pocket again. "Sorry I have to do this again, but you'll appreciate it better this way I think." I say "Go on then, I really hope all this mystery ends up soon, I'm dying to know what we're doing here."

We get out of the car and I understand, from what the driver says, that we are in a hotel. I can hear the distant sound of water somewhere but it is not like the chasm and the smell is strange too. It's much warmer than in Chicago too, I think I started sweating a little and I wonder what's in our suitcase. Tobias takes my hand to lead me inside the lift, then a room. After a minute or two, he opens what seems to be a window, takes me out and, at last, removes the blindfold from my eyes.

I'm startled. The sea view is magnificent, and I like the sound of it, the salty smell and the sun reflecting on the surface. I take his hand in mine but I'm speechless. None of us has ever seen the sea before, and we're staring like kids. I get my words back to say turning to him "Thank you so much for bringing me here. It's so beautiful. here do you get such brilliant ideas?"

"Arthur told me about this place, and I thought you would like it."

"I do. where are we by the way?"

"This place is called Virginia beach. It was the biggest beach vacation resort on this coast of the country. Tomorrow we will be able to bath, I did get a swimsuit for you too. Would you like to have a walk on the beach? I mean, if you're not tired."

I'm actually dying to go outside and feel the ground and the water. It looks so different from what I know. I answer "I really would love to." I believe my eyes are sparkling with excitement.

Minutes later we are on the beach. I notice that people around us have no shoes and walk in the sand bare footed. I find a spot to sit down for a minute and I take my shoes off. The feeling is awesome...the warmth of the sunbathed sand is mixed with the little itching of the grains and some kind of smoothness at the same time. I spend minutes walking like this and half burying my feet in the sand. I suspect Tobias wonders if I'm nuts or if I really have a reason to do this. I tell him "You should try and take your shoes off, it's absolutely great." I definitely want to try the water. I roll my trousers up a little and approach the waves carefully. I step a toe in it and I'm surprised it is so warm, not as much as the sand though, but nothing to compare with the cold waves of the chasm. With every wave, the water is licking my feet like tickles. I wish we had a place like this in Chicago, because I find it so relaxing. The sound is like a stroke for my mind and I feel I could lie down on the hot sand and fall asleep.

Tobias joins me in the water and I take his hand. I say "It's wonderful." I turn to him and slide my hands around his neck and kiss him tenderly. We kiss for a long time, slowly, just as if the very moment had frozen. I don't know how long we are here for, and I don't want to know yet. I want to believe this bliss can last forever...

We walk a little on the beach, and find a nice and warm spot to sit down in the sand and watch the sea in its endless movement. I lie back and close my eyes to fully feel the sun licking my skin, with the sound of the waves, like a relaxing lullaby to my mind. After a few minutes, I nest my head in Tobias' shoulder and he holds me close. In his embrace, I can feel his body filling in my curves and I 'm about to start running my hands on his tattooed back as I like to do, but I fear that could lead us too far. I shall wait until we go back to our room to fill the desire that's growing in my whole body.

When we get back to our room, I feel the same feeling back, that I experienced when I came back last year and kissed him again after all those years. I kiss him hard, it nearly aches but it's sweet too. Our hands feverishly run all over our bodies, following lines of hips and shoulders, from belly to jaw line, going up and down with bits of clothing going away with each move. Our senses seem to be more intense, after the new sensations we've just experienced. There's something wild and desperate like we should live it now, before the moment flies away. I must admit our clothes go off pretty quickly.

By the time our thirst for each other is finally quenched, it's dark and dinner time is long gone.

**_A /N : Hi. More feelings and fluff and lemons in there. If you want more, let me know. If you don't, let me know too ;-) I will go back to "real life" in the next chapter._**

**_Thank you for reading and reviewing._**


	18. Chapter 18: Tris

**Saturday January 1st**

I still have a headache from yesterday's party at Zeke and Shauna's apartment. Too much noise, too much alcohol…and just enough friends. I like New Year's Day; I feel strong, I feel nearly everything is possible today.

Our life has been nice and quiet. We had to come from our honeymoon after three blissful days. I was glad to have Natalie back though. I have never been away from her for such a long time before and I started missing her badly. It seems ages away, but it was only 6 months ago.

We go on knowing each other, a little more every day. We speak about what didn't seem important before, because life was dull and our paths already made for us. We feed ourselves with what's growing in us now: desires, hopes, loves, projects and hobbies…

His favorite color is light blue and he loves Dauntless cake. He sleeps on the right side of the bed and he's dying to see a desert of sand and a volcano he spotted in a geography book. He started swimming as a hobby after we came back from the ocean. He found out there was a swimming pool opened again, and he says after one mile swimming, his mind goes blank and he can forget everything. I encouraged him going on, because I really prefer him finding oblivion this way than with alcohol.

I discovered I like tea better than coffee, and I prefer green to blue. I don't like breakfast in bed, but I'd do anything when he kisses my neck gently. I love flowers, lying in the freshly cut grass and the smell of the sea. I'm trying to learn how to play music too. I started with a simple flute, because a piano -my first choice- would have been much too expensive.

The only problem comes from our family. I'd better say our relatives. Tobias is still very uncomfortable with Caleb, not to say he hates him, and I believe I dislike Evelyn as much as ever. I don't feel guilty about it though, because she didn't change her mind about me and Tobias even now we're married. She told me recently I was not the right woman for him, because I would always remind him of his bad days. Just as she would not! She doesn't say anything bad when he's close enough to hear, but she keeps sending me freezing glances.

The problem is that we can't really avoid having Caleb or Evelyn at home, from time to time, because I don't want to deprive them of Natalie. Both of them are really nice to her and I think it's quite right for her, to meet people older than 25 –that means us and our friends, and Evelyn is one of them.

She's coming round next week for Tobias's birthday. I'm not comfortable with it, because she insisted on coming to our place, rather than taking him out for lunch as she did last year.

I guess I started to become a real housewife, but I don't like Evelyn coming to my home; I always feel she considers I'm useless or (and?) stupid. I don't know what it would take for her to change her mind about me. I managed to raise Natalie up on my own for three years, I had to hide and learn to live again without any friend or family except Matthew and, unlike her, I came back. Thinking about it, maybe that's what bothers her most.

xxx

**Saturday January 8th**

It's nearly time, she'll be here any minute now. I cooked pork chops with ratatouille and a chocolate cake, that I baked on my own with the Dauntless recipe. The door bell rings and I hear Tobias inviting her in. I greet her from the kitchen, I still don't want to touch her more than I need.

We all sit down around the coffee table, I install peanuts and crackers and start serving drinks. Natalie runs and jumps around us, babbling a lot about her last drawing. Suddenly Evelyn takes a nicely wrapped packaged with a glittering bow; It's a children's book about a small train named Thomas. I can't help thinking she's buying my daughter's affection, but maybe she's sincere and tries to create a bond with Natalie.

We start speaking about Natalie and school, and Tobias's work with Johanna, but I feel something is strange about this. I don't understand what but there's something odd in this scene, and it's not only about my being cold to Evelyn. I don't dare to ask what's going on, I suppose we will come to it soon enough.

Natalie says she's hungry so we start eating together. Evelyn asks about my job too, but whatever effort she makes, I'm not convinced she's really interested in what I do. Maybe she came today because she really wants to make amend? It's not before we finished desert, that she comes to the point. Tobias took Natalie in her bed for a nap, because she's awful when she hasn't got enough sleep.

Evelyn takes this occasion to talk with me alone. "I won't do it again. I was wrong." She says. I'm stunned "Do what?"

"Despise you." She says factually. I stay silent. "I can see you make him happy, and he thinks very high of you. I believe I can try to know why, I might reconsider my position." I'm speechless, but I manage to ask "Why now?" but Tobias comes back from Natalie's bedroom at that moment.

Strangely, Evelyn seems to resume our conversation. "I decided to sort of invite myself today because I have something to tell you that you won't like to hear." My stomach clenches instantly and she goes on "Marcus knows." I look for Tobias's hand but he's too far from me and we can just exchange desperate looks. Tobias asks with a croaked voice "What does he know?" Evelyn looks sadly at us and says "He knows Tris is back, and he knows about Natalie. I know it, because he got in touch with me two weeks ago, asking me to intercede with you to let him meet Natalie. I couldn't discover where he is at the moment and he wouldn't say who gave the information to him."

Tobias has turned into a statue and his fists are clenched from the boiling rage I know is growing inside him. His voice is ice cold when he answers "I won't ever let him come around my family. He is already dead to me, but he does anything to Tris and Natalie, he might die from my very hands. Tell him that. I can't believe you told him anything more, did you?"

"No." Says Evelyn "I just said I would pass on the message, and give him back the answer if there was any."

Tobias looks at his mother and says "I believe you have a phone call to make then. Goodbye Evelyn. Thanks for coming."

When she gets out, I notice he didn't call her Mom.

_**A /N : Hope you like it. Thank you for reading and reviewing. I usually update once a week, on Saturdays or Sundays. If I don't have too much work, I update during the week. Follow me to get informed.**_


	19. Chapter 19 Tobias

_**A/N : Hi. Sorry I took so long to update. Life's going on frantic around here, and I don't have much time to write. Hope you'll enjoy this chapter. Next one will catch up with the story Broken.**_

_**Thank you for reading and reviewing.**_

**19\. Tobias**

**Same day**

He's back. Marcus is back, and already spoiling my life again. Will I ever get free

I don't want to think about this. Just hearing his name again, brought those awful memories to me. I can't even imagine for a second bringing my daughter to him. I made a promise to myself long ago, that he would not hurt me again, and no need to talk about my family. I can't even form the thought of him touching Natalie. I have to get rid of him, keep him away from us, whatever it takes. I definitely know why I hate my birthday.

I've been so deeply buried in my thoughts, that I didn't notice that Tris has been stunned by the news. I take her hand "I'll get rid of him, don't worry."

"Tobias, he knows where we are, he knows about Natalie… If he gets any help, what could he possibly do?" She's shaking like she was freezing cold I see panic filling her completely when she takes her head in her hands. "We have to leave, we have to go where he can't find us." She says.

I take her in my arms so she will stop shaking. "Hey, we won't go away, it's our home. We don't even know where he is, and if it happens he came back to Chicago, I will have to make him go… by every mean possible." In my head I know what's behind it but I can't voice it… I could have to face and fight him again.

xxx

**Sunday January 9th**

When I hear Marcus's voice on the phone, I know I've been stupid to think the message I gave to Evelyn would be enough to get rid of him. He knows where we work, and probably where we live by now. I will have to meet him, and either negotiate with him or fight him.

We agree on meeting next Friday in a coffee shop near the Millennium Park, at 3PM. At that time there should be enough people to avoid Marcus doing something desperate like attacking me, but not too many people to prevent us from speaking quietly… if this is ever possible.

I hesitate for a few minutes about if I should tell Tris about this meeting, but we decided we would not lie to each other anymore, so I suppose I'll have to. And if I should not come back… she might know where to look for me.

xxx

**Friday January 14th**

Since I told her Marcus wanted to see me, Tris has had nightmares every night. She dreamed that Natalie was kidnapped and held captive by Marcus who used as a guinea pig in experiments with serums. We actually know she's Divergent, because Matthew tested her when she was one.

Two days ago, in one of Tris's nightmare she died eventually. Tris has been worried to death ever since because she thinks Marcus found a way to force me to leave him experiment on Natalie. That's why she wanted to come with me today, but I know I must face him alone. I swore to her I would not decide anything without her consent.

I get in the shop. I've been here once or twice before with other colleagues when we had to meet after work. It's nicely decorated in a light creamy color with photographs on the wall. I like watching them, because they show places I'd like to see some day. The names under the picture sound like a mysterious song to me: New York, Charleston, San Francisco, Niagara Falls, Yellowstone, Grand Canyon, Mount Rushmore…

I order a coffee and look around to spot him. There are only a dozen people in there, I have no difficulty to find Marcus, sitting princely at a table in the left corner. He is pretty much the same, I can see he did not suffer during the past 4 years. I suddenly wonder where he has been.

I sit down with my coffee and decide to come straight to the point without greeting him "I'm here. What do you want of me?"

"Hello son." I don't answer. "I want to meet her. I mean your daughter." He says calmly.

I feel anger growing in me. "Didn't Evelyn tell you I refuse?"

He looks at me with those piercing eyes I hate. "Yes she did, but I have to insist." He says with such a cold tone, that I feel the old fear coming back to me again. What does my twisted father have in mind?

I decide to stay calm whatever happens and respond coldly "She's my daughter and I refuse she meets you."

This time I can hear the anger in his voice when he says "You're not in position to refuse anything. I'm part of the government now." He still doesn't like people who resist him. I look at him in the eyes and try to find the more detached tone "I don't care." I see him boiling. "Were we alone I could still beat you like pulp, son."

I look at him. He's still fit but I'm stronger and trained more than ever now that I can make a lot of sports. I say calmly "I doubt it. And I'm not your son anymore. You're nothing to me."

I can feel something clicking in him, as if he was climbing stairs step by step, and just came at the highest level. "OK. If you refuse, I will just take her away from you." I restrain a grin. How can he imagine he will ever do that? He noticed though, and I feel angst growing in my chest when he goes on "Don't underestimate my power son. Your wife is a notorious terrorist and you helped her with your pitiful gang of friends. I can lock you both in jail for years in a snap, and get Natalie under my custody if I want to."

I clench my fists hard. I can fight him, but I won't be able to fight the government. I don't want to be running everywhere, trying to hide from them. I'm Dauntless; I must figure out a way to get rid of the menace… forever. I take a minute to think.

I try not to sound hesitant to ask "If we let you see her, what will you do to her?"

"All we want is a few blood samples and she will pass a few psychological tests. It should take about 4 to 6 hours at most. Of course you could stay with her all long."

"I have to talk to Tris before we give you an answer, and if we do this, I want a clean past for both of us and our friends. I also want an official document to attest that once this test is over we won't have to have Natalie pas any test of any sort against her or our will."

"That's OK. You have my word."

This time I can't help a smile. "No, no, no. Your word is worth nothing but s** to me. I want something official, signed from the government, not you."

Marcus seems quite happy of himself "I can have the documents ready by Tuesday. When can you give me your answer?"

I say "I'll call you back in two days and tell you what we decided, but we will need the documents signed and proof for our clean past before you get to see Natalie even for a second."

He suddenly gets up and says "I'm waiting for your call then. Don't be late for it or this agreement is void." And he quickly gets out of the coffee shop.

This meeting has been a disaster. I underestimated my twisted father again.


	20. Chapter 20: Tris (End of this story)

****_A/N : Here is the end !  
_****

**20\. Tris**

**Friday January 21st**

Here we are for the test. I didn't want this. In other days, I would have fled immediately with Tobias, but it's not just the two of us anymore. We have to think about Natalie. I now we would not stand a chance, running away with a four year old little girl, against the finest hounds of the government forces. Evelyn knew that very well when she left Marcus. If we want to get out of this trap alive, we must have a plan, and a good one, but I didn't have time to think about it yet. At least, Tobias managed to get clean cases, for everyone who was involved in the attack of the Bureau, which means this threat is gone... But another one's back with Marcus. I know we have to bend for now; we have to make them think we surrendered and bargain for a little time.

I'm terrified, but I don't want to show my fear to Natalie. She holds my hand strong, and I wish I could squeeze Tobias's hand the same, but I don't want to be weak. I promised her we would be around all the time the test will go on. We arrive just on time at the lab near the Erudite's headquarters, where Marcus is waiting for us. It's 1:30, we have to go. I climb the stairs proudly to the entrance, where a tall man in a white lab coat is waiting for us.

"Welcome in our compound Mr and Mrs Eaton. I'm Clarence, I work here as a doctor and psychologist. It is a governmental laboratory; you don't need to worry about anything." All wrong for him! God knows on the contrary, I fear everything from our government... I know our lives don't count for them.

"I will guide you to the testing area and I will perform most of it myself." He goes on, driving us to a lift for the third floor, then through long corridors and finally, a small waiting room, surrounded by three doors.

They first want the blood sample, so we are driven through the door labelled sample room. I explained to Natalie what will happen, and she clenches her teeth bravely, when the nurse puts the needle in her forearm. When I see her trying not to cry when they change the test tubes, I swear to myself I won't let them the opportunity to do this again. With a quick glance to Tobias's hardened face, I know he feels the same. I notice that the nurse took three tubes already, and when I see her preparing for another, I take a step forward and stop her with my hand. I take my coldest voice to say "I think that will do." She looks surprised and opens her mouth to respond, but Tobias comes behind me and says with his instructor threatening voice "You heard my wife. That's enough."

She mumbles something I don't understand, and cleans Natalie's arm before putting a little plaster on the hole. Tobias tells her she's been very brave not to cry. Ten minutes later they call us again to go through second door this time. It's a physical exam room that looks pretty much like a doctor's room. They do a full record of Natalie from head to toes. The tall man is writing everything on a file, filling charts and ticking boxes on various forms. They test her eyes and hearing, make her run, breathe heavily and blow in a machine to measure her chest capacity. This whole thing takes about one hour.

Then we go to the third room where Natalie has to go through all sorts of language, writing and IQ tests. Clarence also asks her a lot of questions about her life at home and what she likes at school and how we are with her at home. I feel very uncomfortable about this intrusion into our family life; I feel like exposed and judged somehow.

After that, Marcus himself comes around with a satisfied smile, that makes me want to throw up. I immediately feel desperate rage boiling in me at his very sight, but I muster myself because I want to be sure we'll get out of here soon. He barely greets us, but I don't care. I instinctively hold back Natalie on my lap. I want to be as far as possible from him. He hands a certificate to Tobias who reads it carefully next to me. It explains that the tests have been fully performed as agreed, and that they can't oblige us to do this again to our daughter.

We both check everything and after evrything is properply signed ans stamped, Tobias turns to Marcus to say "Now, if you ever come back to my family and break this agreement, I won't care, I will get rid of you by any means."

My fear's back again so I start heading to the door, just in case, but I can still hear Marcus answer "Nice to see you again Son. see you soon Natalie" Is he really being ironic? I hurry to leave the room, and then nearly run through the corridors to the front door and when we get out, I can breathe again. I didn't notice I feared so much something would go wrong.

I decide it this very minute. We will let them think we trust them. We will let their watch weaken, and then we will go away. In the meantime, we won't change our lives. I suppose 6 to 8 quiet months should make it, to let them believe we forgot.

It's more time we need, to think about a perfect plan to disappear.

Forever.

**_A/N : With this chapter, this story will meet the story that follows : "Broken". It's finished already, even if I might write a sequel (still thinking about the plot). Read it, if you want to know what happens next._**_** See you there maybe?**_

**_Thank you again for reading my work. Feel free to review and comment, I love reviews and I'll read all your posts very carefully.  
_**


	21. Chapter 21

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

_**Hi everybody. **_

_**This story is now over. You can read what happens next in Broken (55 chapters, complete, sequel in writing) I give you a part of chapter 1 below.  
**_

_**Thank you for reading my work and see you soon.**_

_**Please feel free to review and PM me if you want to report any mistakes... or encourage me ;-))**_

_**Please **_**_please do not stop reviewing on this story. I love reading your comments and criticism did help too._**

_**T64t**_

1\. Tris : Breaking

I'm getting worried, Matthew's late, it's 8 PM already. He usually takes care not to do this because he knows I'm easily getting paranoid if anyone I care of seems to be in danger. He took so many risks to save me that I always fear the government finds out and make him pay.

There are just a few people who really know who I am: Caleb, our friends Christina Zeke and Shauna, Cara, Amar and George, and of course his mother. I'm Grace for everyone else. Evelyn still doesn't like me that much. I think she'd better have me dead for good because she would have had her son all for herself.

Now, she has to count with me and Natalie. And no one can ever beat Natalie in Four's heart. I'm afraid she won on me too. He melts like ice cream any time she looks at him with her deep blue eyes. I shall keep an eye on her, she gets anything from her father, beyond reasonable. I don't want her to be spoiled, we were Abnegation born. I can't blame him though. He missed so much of her life already, he wants to make the most of it now.

The bell rings. Matthew at last! I let him in. My smile evaporates when I see his stern face and swollen red eyes. He looks terrified and keeps looking all round as to check no ones watching us. "Get in." I say.

"Is Natalie sleeping?" He asks. "Yes."I say, "Matthew, what on earth happened to you?"

"Please, get Four and sit down, both of you." My stomach clenches. I feel something bad coming. I call Four with a croaked voice. He is coming out of the kitchen with drinks and halts for a second when he looks at Matthew.

"Guess you need that, Mat." He says, giving him the glass. "Thanks" says Matthew. "Please sit down."

He takes a deep breath and starts "Remember my friend Fred who helped me though saving you and trying to fix your hip?"

"Yes" I say "He got to cut into my body about 10 times at least."

"Well, …He's dead !" spits Matthew."He was hit by a wild car, in front of the hospital 2 days ago."

I share a tear. I owed him.

Mathew goes on with visible suffering. "And today, I received a letter from him along with this file in my mail box, he says showing us a plain blue file with a barcode on it. Please read. Believe me I didn't know about that."

He gives the letter to me and adds…"Four, promise me you won't break anything."

"I had to come straight away. I'm so sorry…Had I known…I…I." He cries looking on the floor.

I read

Dear Matt,

I you got this, it's because I have failed in making things right and I'm either dead or in jail. What you have here is my fault. They said they would kill me if I spoke about it and I was afraid of them. When they took the baby I should have fought back but I didn't. They said they would give him back when he reached 3 but they lied to me.

I should have known.

I tried to threaten them to reveal everything I know, but if I'm dead that means it didn't work.

Please help me and give the file to his mother. I hope they'll succeed where I failed.

I'm so sorry. I'm a monster.

Hope this will help, tell them I'm sorry.

Fred


End file.
